"Fine. I’ll just piss in the sink."

"This is why I don’t smile at people: because it’s just an invitation into boring people’s lives."

"This is why I don’t smile at people: because it’s just an invitation into boring people’s lives."

"Christmas is not about being with people you like; it’s about being with your family."

"Christmas is not about being with people you like; it’s about being with your family."


"Sometimes I come off as fake because I like to partayyyyy—"

I loved how this was Bringing Out the Dead with a reverse reverse Fight Club.

"Sometimes I come off as fake because I like to partayyyyy—"

I loved how this was Bringing Out the Dead with a reverse reverse Fight Club.

These people are watching a stripper at the geriatric man’s bachelor party. The guy in the bottom left was clearly given some other direction.

These people are watching a stripper at the geriatric man’s bachelor party. The guy in the bottom left was clearly given some other direction.